A Mirror Staring at a Mirror
If we “reflect” on the year’s reflections, we not only create another reflection but also a new reflection altogether.
Mirrors reflect, and so can people. Therefore, I will not simply “reflect” on the past year but create something else altogether: a reflection on my reflections. Of course, I want you to know that I recognize my good fortune, appreciate all that I have, and acknowledge all those around me who contribute to that good fortune. However, I already do a lot of reflecting (though maybe not publicly) and want to contemplate the steady stream of reflections forced upon me throughout the year.
With every payroll that I successfully process and every bill I pay, I feel immense thanks that it happens at all because sometimes it almost does not happen. I know when the money leaves me and slides into a freelancer’s account, it helps them to pay their rent, to work in their studio, to buy holiday gifts, or to simply buy some mozzarella sticks at a dive bar on a Friday night. That is so paternalistically satisfying. I appreciate that every paycheck that arrives funds these payrolls and bolsters this business because sometimes they do not arrive. Yet the business breathes another breath. These regular near-death experiences (that is a little extreme I will admit) are the world’s landlords forcing me to peer into the mirror every week or two.
I also acknowledge that for everyone, the chord does not resolve. This year, many colleagues lost their jobs, got furloughed, and/or their institutions permanently closed and prompted another example of involuntary self reflection – both for them and for myself. Many chose not to stay in the industry. Some will go back to school. For some, it will be a wildfire that seeds a new forest, and for others, it simply razes the entire neighborhood. Seeing a gallery close, an institution on strike, or the government shut down, naturally, one asks themself “Am I prepared for this?” or “What would I do if that issue confronted me?”
Therefore, I want to make it crystal clear that through these regular periods of reflection throughout the year – voluntary and involuntary – I appreciate that I do have my own business as well as the ability to express that appreciation to an audience. I recognize all those who have helped me and continue to help me make J.T. Robinette and Art Handler Network possible. I recognize all the people in the network that do great work daily that ultimately permits clients to continue to trust us. Sure, skill and experience play a role, but so, too, do unquantifiables such as luck and the seeming unconditional generosity of others. Thank you.
In this detail of Diego Velázquez’s Las Meninas, do we watch the artist paint the king and queen reflected in the mirror behind him? Or, are we, the viewer, the king or queen getting their likeness painted? Or, is it the portrait being painted that is reflected in the mirror? The answer requires reflection on a reflection.
The word “reflection”, therefore, does not fully capture my current state. Reflecting involves just looking into a mirror. The holidays this year have forced me to realize that, though I already regularly recognize and appreciate all that I have because sometimes they feel close to going away, like Las Meninas, I must contemplate the mirror itself. A mirror staring at a mirror. A meditative moment that flashes all the previous reflections before your eyes. Reflecting on those reflections creates a Kusama’s worth of reflections, and the summation of those reflections is its own seasonal condition.
